Get Real!

So, I've decided that I need to live in reality. I don't think I've completely been away and out of touch, but I will faithfully admit that I've had more than a toenail in some world of my own creation, abiding by my own rules, and possibly blinded by a very bright sun that I hope will now shed light on things as they are and as they should be.


Here's what I hope to accomplish with this blog, since it will mainly be myself that reads it.

1. To be completely honest with my thoughts, my desires, goals, my shortcomings so that at least one person on this planet can define Denise.
2. To have a place that paints a picture of the outcome I hope to see accomplished during my lifetime.
3. To sort out my feelings, catalog, interpret, face and somehow learn to live happily together with my logical side (that I may very well discover is not as logical as I want to believe it to be).

Call it a mini mid-30's identity crisis.  Call it a wake up call to be less selfish and more giving and caring and charitable, and to do so must "know thyself".  Call it therapy that's cheaper than a shrink.  Call it me trying to find meaning in a small life.

I've been reading a few things lately that have led to some considerable interspection.  I've decided in the last week to negotiate discussions between myself and my fat cells and hopefully come to an agreement and live peaceably together.  I've thought about people that I have difficulties with and people I love and admire and hope to glean some insight into myself from those relationships and hopefully make them more endearing.

This blog will contain some debates with myself that may only cause confusion to others, but it is essential that I figure through some things and write them down in a place that I can go back and reflect.  This blog will contain letters to unnamed people, letters of things that I will tell those individuals when I have gained sufficient courage for the task.  This blog will highlight milestones in my educational pursuits, career advancements, personal and social endeavors, and spiritual growth.  Along with that, I will not spare any reader from discovering my failings.  One big goal of mine is to become a better failure.  I have not sufficiently taken advantage of my stumblings, my hiccoughs, my face plants and analyzed them as I have analyzed so many other things in my life.  My goal is get real, not to create a picture of perfection, someone who has it all figured out.

Know thyself, Denise.  Climb lofty mountains to hopefully discover unimaginable vistas that hang on the walls of your imagination.  Scale walls and topple them when they stand as impediments to progress and fortify them when they provide strength and substance.  Dig deep to find what lies in the deep and dark places of the soul, those that should be exposed and those that should be disposed of.  Plant gardens of thought to see what thrives and adorns your life with goodness and beauty.  Give, give, give and do not hold back.  Get real!